We named our party play list daddy issues
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
