So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
