i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
