Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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