I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize
