so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Randomize