What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
