The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize