Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize