dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
