I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
a search helicopter?!
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
