I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
