ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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