Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
