i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
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