So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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