i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
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