You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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