i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
