I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Randomize
