Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
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