My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I need to sanitize my soul.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
