you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
