I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I want her autograph on my taint
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
