I'm going to jail i love you
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
