matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
