I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Bring me that man meat
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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