Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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