Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
