I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
