awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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