come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
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