I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
