They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize