We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
