Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Are my feet made of real feet?
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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