Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Someone shattered a urinal.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
There are leaves in my underwear?
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
