Apparently you make a good broom.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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