Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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