Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
