You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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