can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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