He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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