things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize