Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
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