I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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