in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
