I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
