About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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