he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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