I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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