there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize