wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
