i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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