she looked like the before picture.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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