All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Randomize
