and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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