dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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