NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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