I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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