and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize