I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
