I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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