you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
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